Pick the Cat's Eyes Out

When you're eight turning nine and rather green when it comes to all this, then "Seven Ages of Rock" has a purpose. It's Pop Music for Dummies watered down, now with 50 percent more mythology!, and without the 5,000-word foreword from Bono. "I filled the great holy void that Ian Curtis' untimely death created." Sorry, Bono -- Joy Division isn't mentioned in "Rock of Ages." Yeah, I checked.

Anyway, my oldest enjoyed it, blissfully unaware, naturally, of how the series packaged the history of pop music -- or in the case of the episode we watched, punk -- into nifty, toteable, timeworn anecdotes. Most of this imagery left iconic status long ago and is now approaching the cartoonish. If I caught one more shot of the dirt-encrusted Bowery with the Empire State Building teasing and gleaming in the background like some sort of sex toy gherkin . . .

Journalist: "I saw the Ramones play their first show. They did 12 songs in 16 minutes. Or maybe it was 16 songs in 12 minutes."

Glen Matlock: "John wore a T-shirt that said 'I hate Pink Floyd.'"

Johnny Lydon: "I had this Pink Floyd tee and I wrote 'I hate' on it. It was madness, really."

Mick Jones: "There was like, this row at a gig and we were like, 'We want in on that!'"

Journalist: "Yobs! The 'hole lot of 'em!"